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TonkaTuff



Joined: 13 Apr 2007
Posts: 7
Location: Australia's Lush Bushland

PostPosted: Tue Sep 11, 2007 5:14 am    Post subject: My Search Results Reply with quote

WHO IS JACK SCHITT?

For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt!' Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.

Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.

Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.

Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable

throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd,and Horse.

Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.

Now when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt,' you can correct them.

Sincerely,

Crock O. Schitt
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alexedwin



Joined: 03 Mar 2006
Posts: 106
Location: Queensland, Australia

PostPosted: Wed Sep 12, 2007 9:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Excellent! Very Happy

Nice to see some humour here!

Tanks Tonka!

Alex Wink
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austindave



Joined: 19 Feb 2006
Posts: 391
Location: UK

PostPosted: Wed Sep 12, 2007 12:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nice one tonka

I don't no Jack Schitt?

But I do no Jack Schitt!

cool

Thanks Dave
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RoBear



Joined: 11 Jun 2006
Posts: 39
Location: Norwalk, California

PostPosted: Thu Sep 13, 2007 8:27 am    Post subject: The Purina Diet Reply with quote

Great idea, Tonka. Humor is what we need here...


I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for my dogs and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
Duh!
I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse I told her no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, and I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.
Her eyes about bugged out of her head. I went on and on with the bogus diet story and she was totally buying it. I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it works is to load your pockets or purse with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The package said the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.
Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me and was that why I ended up in the hospital?
I said no... I'd been sitting in the street licking my butt when a car hit me.
I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door.
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austindave



Joined: 19 Feb 2006
Posts: 391
Location: UK

PostPosted: Thu Sep 13, 2007 9:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

RoBear with a talent like that you should be on TV. Not that I'd want to see it LOL.

Dave
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